Brother Dearest

I share a very ‘blink and you miss’ relationship with my Brother. In the sense that the love we have for each other is mostly just unexpressed, dormant. Rarely have we witnessed expositions of love, so much so that sometimes our own parents have thought us indifferent to each other. But we know we’re like Mt. Vesuvius. We lay dormant until it explodes and out comes all the pent up feelings and emotions in that one giant avowal of love.

Calling each other names and ribbing was a daily thing, but we have even had fights, fist fights and torn each other’s hair and gums out (I’m not joking). A tussle on  the day of Rakhshabandhan was a MUST! A yearly gigantic fight was a must too when we’d fight sooooo bad that our bruised egos would refuse to even acknowledge the other as a sibling. It would go on for days and then taper out. Then we’d be back at it. It was cyclical… and fun!

So, we aren’t the kind of people who emote much, except if we’re angry. We had always relied on our actions to speak for the strength of our bond. Like the time when I talked down a guy in his class for pestering him (I was the cocky older sister, you see), or the time when I smacked a guy on the head because he made fun of him. Or the time when he rebuked one of his friends for catcalling at me (in guy-parlance eyeing another’s sister is a taboo so this was a big deal for him, though in his friend’s defence, the poor bloke wasn’t aware that we were brother-sister).

But there was one moment we shared that lingers fondly in my mind like a cup of cappuccino on a cold sunny morning.

I had been accepted into Law School in another city and was in the process of packing. My brother must have been 14-15 years at the time. we had always fought about our share of space in the room, how exactly to play the boombox (we didn’t have CD players back then), how not to read my books or touch my side of the study-table. Oh! it was endless, this homebound parochialism. But of course it would come to an end when I left for Law School because the room would be his realm alone. I was abdicating and decamping to a faraway land. So he was happy. He taunted me about how he would ruin my cupboard, make squiggles on my side of the room, read and trash my books AND sleep on my bed, not his own (this one got to me because I am a bit obsessed with maintaining a clean bed). So after having another holler-fest, we settled down at the edge of my bed and were cooling off, when he starts, “So you’re leaving, huh?”

 “Yes, it does look like it” , I retorted, obviously still irritated with him.

He mulled over that for sometime, and then squeaks, “But then who am I gonna fight with? Who’s hair will I pull if you go away?”

I. Was. Stunned!

I told you expositions of love was never a thing between us. And this confession was as much a revelation for me as it was for him. I just kept looking at him, tongue-tied. What was I supposed to say? We never even said thank-you’s or sorries to each other! Our relationship was…well, gruff. So I was just sitting there and he would steal a glance at me sometimes because he knew just how awkward that statement was.

And then that moment just passed, without me saying anything to him. 

Now I kick myself for never saying “Aw! It’ll be okay. I’ll be back for vacations”, or “you can write to me”, or even something as corny, but relevant like, “I love you brother”, because now I’ve come to realise that sometimes the corny isn’t corny… It’s sweet, heart-felt and conveys to the other that he/she means a lot to you. That isn’t a bad thing. That’s how relationships should be.

That moment never came back in our lives. We just kept drifting further apart. Now we are busy in our own lives – he with his job, me with home and my daughter. Our meetings have reduced to a day or two in the year because he and I are in different cities. Naturally, expression of sibling love never gets a chance beyond a ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ hug.

But today is his birthday. And I have another excuse to express my love for him and offer my gratitude to him for always having my back. And this time, I won’t let it go unsaid…




(These two puppies accurately depict how we have always behaved with each other)

Thank you for always being there for me,

For being who you are with me,

For always showing me the mirror when I got snooty.


Thank you for the fun times and the bad,

Thank you for cheering me up when I was mad,

Thank you for always having my back,


I Love You, Brother Dearest!!


(P.S. – Don’t rib me later for being corny here.)


©Pradita Kapahi, 2016


Picture Sources: and



51 thoughts on “Brother Dearest

  1. As You Log Out Of Last Year
    And Login To This New Year,
    I Wish To Send You Happy New Year Wishes Full Of Success, Prosperity, Happiness And Joy.
    May This Be A Year Of Change Unto Your Life May GOD Give You Protection And Good Health. Let Guardian Angel’s keeps your mind alert and bright. Hope the joyful Spirit keeps glowing in the your heart forever!
    Happy New Year!


  2. Thank you for sharing this Pradita! I share a very close relationship with my brother. Now that I am earning, I love to pamper him as much I like to tease him for overspending. It is a lovely relationship.

    A very happy birthday to your brother from my side too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m in deep Aaww with this piece. It moistened my eyes.😍
    I and my brother share no different equation than this. Fighting, arguing, hitting, there’s no Soft word that can describe our relationship. In fact when I come across any sober brother-sister relationship, I feel either they are maniacs or we are. These two kind of behaviours cannot coexist.😄
    Showing love is really tough. But I’ll try to show some before we two too get too much busy in our lives. Though we still are in different cities but I’m still unmarried and he is still jobLESS.😝
    A very happy 2017 Pradita!😘😃

    Liked by 1 person

  4. this is so cute and beautifully put up.. I grew up with a sister ,and somehow we have nothing to hide with one another .😀😝this post clearly shows how it feels to grew up with a brother..loved every bit of it.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh this is such a lovely post! Me and my siblings have always been an emotional bunch. And I think most of us here identify with the feelings you and your brother (him more so) had when you were going to Law school. Yes, sometimes corny isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.
    Beautiful post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The biggest mistake we make in families is NOT telling each other what we each assume the other should know… Even if your relative says nothing, it is important to say what you feel anyway. Life holds too many unexpected tragedies to add regret to the list! You have a very lucky brother….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Bonjour ou bonsoir
    Par des mots simples

    Je viens déposer sur ton blog

    Quelques mots de bonheur et te donner de le joie en cette fin de semaine
    Vois-tu je t’ emmène sur des chemins

    Je les ai tracé pour toi principalement

    Sur ces chemins j’ai découvert
    Une pétale de rose pour effacer ta peine
    Un sourire d’enfant contre une larme
    Des mots que je dis à ceux que j’apprécie
    Dont tu fais réellement

    je te souhaite un bonne journée ou soirée

    gros bisous


    Je tire ma révérence LOL tu me troubles que j’en perds mon équilibre

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Bernard for those wonderful verses. They are beautiful indeed. I’m sorry some of your intent may have been lost in translation. But i think I got most of what you had written correctly, or Google Translator did 🙂 Glad to make your acquaintance. Keep stopping by 🙂


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