Silly Questions And Their Not-So-Obvious Answers

Ever faced a situation when someone asks you a very, very obvious question and you itch to give them a nasty answer to make them realise that they’re being Captain Obvious? You start wondering why would they even choose such words when there are a thousand different ways of making a comment just for the heck of it. Then you start wondering that maybe it isn’t their fault. Maybe it’s because this tradition-of-asking-silly-questions is like a bad hand-me-down from our previous generations. Maybe we ask such questions as fillers or conversation starters. But even then, why not start a conversation with a more intelligent question? Hmmm?

No? Never faced that problem?!

Here’s me asking you a very obvious question –

Do these questions ring a bell?

⇒ When you enter a shop, looking for something –

Can I help you? 

No! I just came to stare at your goods.

⇒ When you are talking to the only person standing before you –

Are you talking to me?

No! I was talking to my pet ghost who’s standing next to you.

⇒ Someone enters an obviously abandoned/empty place and calls out –

Anyone home?

Unless you know someone named ‘anyone’, this lame question just doesn’t make sense.

⇒ Then there’s the corollary to the above, that we use when someone we know has just returned home (it doesn’t matter even if they’ve just announced ‘I’m home’ loudly enough) –

Are you back?

Nah, that was just my doppelganger you saw leaving.

⇒ When someone tries to show you that they’re offended by what you did –

Who do you think you are?

I think I may be a lot of things, but lets just start with ‘I’m who my parents named me’.

⇒ Then when someone tries to act important –

Don’t you know who I am?

Why? You forgot who you are? What a shame!

⇒ This rhetorical question that needs no explanation –

Why me?

Because you’re the only loser absolutely available to yourself.

⇒ The typical ‘I don’t give a damn’ reaction –

Who cares?

You don’t, that’s for sure.

⇒ When you’ve just had a haircut –

Did you get a haircut?

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google.com

No, I accidentally sawed it all off!

⇒ What makes you think anyone is going to answer this –

Are you stupid?

Best comeback ever – No, stupid isn’t my name!

⇒ When you get a truckload of things in your shopping cart and the cashier asks you –

Are you buying this?

Someone already beat me to the best answer.

⇒ When a website asks you –

Are you human?

hit-the-ground-running-top-tips-to-immediately-improve-your-user-experience-25-638.jpg

The CAPTCHA image sums up my exact reaction.

⇒ When someone calls/barges into your room in the middle of the night –

Were you sleeping?

No, I’m a dog. I was playing dead.

⇒ When you go to a restaurant –

Would you like a table?

No, I’m OK with only a chair.

⇒ When someone says this, loud and clear –

Did you hear me?

I’d have to be deaf not to hear you say that.

⇒ When someone needs to talk to you –

Got a minute?

How does one ‘get’ a minute? Do you buy it with cash or card? Please tell me.

⇒ When someone looks at your plate and you know it’s coming –

Are you gonna eat that?

No, but looks like you will. Here you go, freeloader.

⇒ Your make-up’s a mess, you look like a reindeer and someone asks you –

Are you crying?

No, I have mini waterfalls installed in my eyes.

⇒ These variations of silly questions –

Why didn’t you say something? Why did you do that?

Because I felt like it!

⇒ When you’re all dressed up in your best clothes and heading to the door –

Are you going somewhere?

No. I like to kill time by playing dress-up.

⇒ When you’re bleeding rivulets and someone asks –

Does it hurt? Are you in pain?

Really?! Let me whack you and see how you feel!

⇒ But my favorite is this –

Isn’t it obvious?

Heck yeah! But I just wanted to push your buttons and watch you squirm!

Hope this put a smile on your face. Have a great weekend, y’all!


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Copyright ©2017 Pradita Kapahi.

All rights reserved.

34 thoughts on “Silly Questions And Their Not-So-Obvious Answers

  1. What drives me to utter distraction is the classic mainstream media person question (s) “how do you feel about that” or “what were you feeling at the time?” Utter ignorance usually from a media bimbo asking this question of a Mumbai terrorist victim, or someone from the recent London bombing, or a cricketer who has just lost the IPL final. Mindless ignorance! Discuss?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Just 4 Fun # 56 – Stories and more

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